For the chapter 16 assignment, I want to focus on two topics: on is on "Practice the Art of Thriving" and another is on "Learn to Love the Plateau". These two are the ones that inspired me the most in terms of what should I aim for and how I should behave in order to achieve the goals.
1. Practice the Art of Thriving
Reading this, I really sympathized with the author that maintaining a balance between 5 factors (work, relationships, renewal, physical health, and purpose) is extremely important in order to achieve happiness throughout the life time. Right now I am very satisfied with the environment and the life itself, but I thought there are more I can do to make it even better. For these 5 factors, I want to think about which ones I am good at and which ones I need to work more on, so I can work harder on the ones that I can improve more.
For work: since I am not really "working" now, I would consider this as my studies and the club activities. I think on this criteria, I am doing fairly well--I enjoy studying most of the time, especially for the topics which I am really interested in.. Also, I am ever more enthusiastic about doing debate, as I have started to go to practice more often than before. I realized that my biggest weakness in terms of debating was my lack of knowledge toward the fields of law, politics, economy and international relations--as I have not really learned about these topics before. Although it is very difficult to acquire all the knowledge at once, I am aiming to acquire knowledge in the long term by reading Newsweek Magazines and international newspapers.
For relationship: I think I am also doing fairly well in terms of maintaining good relationships. For me, my family is the source of support and comfort, as I can feel that they will always be there for me when I have difficulties in life. Also, even though there are times when members conflict one another, I really enjoy going to the debating practice, as I truly feel that I am the member of the debating society club. So far, I am really satisfied with the relationships I have, and I hope to continue this in the future.
Physical Health: In terms of maintaining health, I think I have been able to keep myself healthy by eating healthy food, doing daily exercise and sleeping at least 7 hours every night.
Renewal: Singing, dancing, composing music and debating are all forms of relaxations which helps me forget about the bad events and release the stress.
Sense of Purpose: I feel that this may be the criteria that I need to work on the most. Although there are many things I enjoy doing every day, it is really hard for me to clearly state what my goals are, as I cannot really decide what I should be doing in the future. I think I am still in the progress to find out what I truly want to accomplish, and I hope I can find something that is really meaningful to me so I can live my life with more passion and more effort.
2. Learn to love the Plateau
This was another quote which inspired me and made me think. I thought it was very true that people often rush to achieve their goals, and when fail to do so in a short amount of time, they often become frustrated and even give up. For me, my goal is to become the number one debater in ICU University, and to win the number one position in debating competition. However, the situation is not so easy--recently, I have just lost in the debating competition, which really put me down and made me really down. I doubted whether it was because I simply did not have talent like the Bucho-san, or just I was not making as much effort as I should have. Reading this section, I was comforted by the words that somethings just do not happen overnight, and that we have to keep continuing patiently even though it may feel like a long time. I thought this was very true in terms many things--whether it be leadership skills or debating.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Personal Mission Statement
Personal Mission Statement
To always maintain honesty, enthusiasm and positive attitude regardless of the difficulty of the environment are the three goals that I want to achieve throughout my life. I will always stay honest with my feelings and desires, and stand up for what I believe is right, regardless of other people’s opinions. I will never lose enthusiasm, as I believe passion is a key to accomplish just about anything. No matter how difficult the situation may seem, I will never give up my dream until I feel that I have tried just about everything I could think of. I will always keep optimism no matter how devastating the situation may seem. I will always take things in a positive way, and see positive things in every person I meet. No matter where I live or how I live, I will always be there for my family, especially my parents who have supported me all their lives. When they become old, I will take care of them with love and respect, and always prioritize them over anything else. I will always maintain gratitude toward those who stay with me, whether it may be my parents, friends, employees, colleagues or my future family.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Week Six -Conflict!!-
Regarded to conflict, I feel there are two voices that exist within my heart--one voice which calls me to confront the issue and speak honestly to that person, and the other voice which tells me to just keep my mouth shut so I do not have to waste much energy. Every time I confront a problem, these two voices fight over the other, and depending on which one wins, I decide which action to take.
To be honest, I hadn't had much good experience having a conflict in the past.. Every time I involved in some kind of conflicts, I always became nervous and irritated, and sometimes that issue lingered in my heart that I even regretted for having spoken my honest feelings. Since I have experienced quite a lot of "bitter feelings" with conflicts, I have become more hesitant confronting directly with the issues--every time I think about confronting the issue directly, I hear the voice "once you start, you can't go back". I actually didn't know why I couldn't deal with conflict in a better way--until recently.
Before talking about the discovery, I want to thank Ken for teaching us about conflict in class as it was the exact issue which I have always felt I needed to work on. After participating in conflict lessons, I think I came to realize what I had been doing wrong, as there were so many things I wasn't doing that were on the UMBRELLA Approach.
Recently, I had a little conflict with one person. Just about 3 weeks ago we had a talk and there we sort of confronted each other in the conversation, in which both of us could not find a way out. No matter how much I tried to make that person understand me, that person didn't seem to understand--and by seeing that I got more upset, and I became really emotional with my talking. Looking back, I was doing all the things that I was NOT supposed to be doing according to the UMBRELLA approach--I was emotional, could not manage my own feelings, and I responded with harsh pitch--but the biggest mistake I made was the "U" part, which says
U=Understand. Make an attempt to understand as well as to be understood.
This was the exact part which I failed to do. Instead of making an attempt to understand that person, all I did was to say my opinion--and didn't really accept what that person was saying. When I read the handout in class, I suddenly realized that I had been doing all wrong--it was though as if I had been in a long dream and suddenly somebody had just pinched me. That moment, I really regretted how I had responded to that person during the conversation, and I realized how I had been the speaker for the most of the time--which meant that I was dominating the talk while leaving that person to just listen to understand.
Another quote that hit my heart is:
"Listen more; talk less."
Having experienced a bitter conflict, now I truly feel the importance of the quote. I cannot help thinking whether the outcome had been different if I could manage the UMBRELLA Approach. Our relationship didn't completely break, but now we are in uncomfortable state, and I feel this is all because of the conflict which I could not manage well. I realized that the problem I had with conflict was not that fact that I confronted the problem, but rather, HOW I confronted.
So what changes can I make to deal with conflict more productively and in small doses?
I think one way is to listen to the other person, and the other is to keep the emotions under control as much as possible. Being emotional is not a good thing during conflicts, as it can take rationality away from one and makes him/her say things that he/she did not mean to. I think letting the anger out in small doses is a good way to avoid big conflicts, but it may be hard if the relationship between a person is not so concrete. One way to do this may be to keep honesty, and let them know right away when they do something that does not suit one's will. Either way, there are still much works to do, and if there will be a next chance, I want to at least keep my words to "listen more and talk less"!
To be honest, I hadn't had much good experience having a conflict in the past.. Every time I involved in some kind of conflicts, I always became nervous and irritated, and sometimes that issue lingered in my heart that I even regretted for having spoken my honest feelings. Since I have experienced quite a lot of "bitter feelings" with conflicts, I have become more hesitant confronting directly with the issues--every time I think about confronting the issue directly, I hear the voice "once you start, you can't go back". I actually didn't know why I couldn't deal with conflict in a better way--until recently.
Before talking about the discovery, I want to thank Ken for teaching us about conflict in class as it was the exact issue which I have always felt I needed to work on. After participating in conflict lessons, I think I came to realize what I had been doing wrong, as there were so many things I wasn't doing that were on the UMBRELLA Approach.
Recently, I had a little conflict with one person. Just about 3 weeks ago we had a talk and there we sort of confronted each other in the conversation, in which both of us could not find a way out. No matter how much I tried to make that person understand me, that person didn't seem to understand--and by seeing that I got more upset, and I became really emotional with my talking. Looking back, I was doing all the things that I was NOT supposed to be doing according to the UMBRELLA approach--I was emotional, could not manage my own feelings, and I responded with harsh pitch--but the biggest mistake I made was the "U" part, which says
U=Understand. Make an attempt to understand as well as to be understood.
This was the exact part which I failed to do. Instead of making an attempt to understand that person, all I did was to say my opinion--and didn't really accept what that person was saying. When I read the handout in class, I suddenly realized that I had been doing all wrong--it was though as if I had been in a long dream and suddenly somebody had just pinched me. That moment, I really regretted how I had responded to that person during the conversation, and I realized how I had been the speaker for the most of the time--which meant that I was dominating the talk while leaving that person to just listen to understand.
Another quote that hit my heart is:
"Listen more; talk less."
Having experienced a bitter conflict, now I truly feel the importance of the quote. I cannot help thinking whether the outcome had been different if I could manage the UMBRELLA Approach. Our relationship didn't completely break, but now we are in uncomfortable state, and I feel this is all because of the conflict which I could not manage well. I realized that the problem I had with conflict was not that fact that I confronted the problem, but rather, HOW I confronted.
So what changes can I make to deal with conflict more productively and in small doses?
I think one way is to listen to the other person, and the other is to keep the emotions under control as much as possible. Being emotional is not a good thing during conflicts, as it can take rationality away from one and makes him/her say things that he/she did not mean to. I think letting the anger out in small doses is a good way to avoid big conflicts, but it may be hard if the relationship between a person is not so concrete. One way to do this may be to keep honesty, and let them know right away when they do something that does not suit one's will. Either way, there are still much works to do, and if there will be a next chance, I want to at least keep my words to "listen more and talk less"!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Week Five -Team Work!-
There were many opportunities for me to experience the difficulties and also the true importance of teamwork. For this blog, I would like to share the most recent experience I had in ICU University.
I belong to the ICU Debating Society club, and this year I became one of the leading members of the debating society. There are seven members including me who are responsible for running the club, including the top leader who is the most responsible for any decisions that are made within the core members.
To be honest, I used to hate the meeting that we had every month or so. Every time I joined the meeting, I always felt that I was a worthless being, as I was barely given the chance to speak up. The discussion was often dominated by 2 or 3 members, who were either really aggressive or in the higher position than I was, known as "senpai". The atmosphere of that meeting was so tense and serious that I felt really overwhelmed that I simply could not say a word. Probably the reasons are that these "senpai"- who often spoke in oppressive manner - always tried to take control over the discussion. Also, there was one specific guy who was in the same year as I was, but was so aggressive that any opinion (which opposed to his) that I said was simply stomped over by his strong criticism. For a long time, I could not do anything but simply listen and pretend that I agreed--which was often quite painful and made me really regret for joining the core member team.
To say the conclusion first, the situation did improve a little compare to before. Although it is not yet perfect, I feel more comfortable talking during the meeting, and I think the biggest reason may be the trust that I succeeded in forming between me and the top leader of the club, who we call bucho-san. Bucho-san, though a nice guy he was, simply did not realize that I was having such an uncomfortable time speaking in the meeting. When there were not much connection nor trust between me and the Bucho-san, every time he asked whether I was happy with the decision or not, I always lied to him that I was happy with the way the meeting went despite the fact that I was not. But I was afraid to say so, as I did not trust him very much at the time, and I feared that if I tell him the truth, I may be criticized behind my back.
I don't remember how exactly we succeeded in building trust, but I guess it was his effort into talking me and showing his concern for my feelings which won my trust at last. Although at first I often faked a smile and lied to him about my true feelings, he made an effort to find out my true feelings by talking to me personally, calling on the phone after the meeting, and so forth. His sincere and calm attitude also made me feel secured, as I could see that he was really trying hard to satisfy all the members as much as possible. As the time passed and my trust grew larger and larger, I started to be more honest and told him about how I felt uncomfortable during the meeting--I even told him that I was uncomfortable of one specific guy who always turned down any opinions that were against his.
I also started to feel more comfortable as I succeeded in building good relationship with other members. Although I have not succeeded in building a good relationship with all of them, knowing that some members will support me, I feel more secured and comfortable telling my honest feeling to other members. Also, one of the core members became a really good friend of mine, in which we came to share our true feelings to each other about the meeting. It turned out that I was not the only one who was feeling uncomfortable and stress about the meeting, but she was also feeling the same way, in which she also felt hesitation in speaking in front of the other members. We came to make a promise that every time that specific guy try to stomp over either of our opinions, the other will support the other--that way, we both became confident as we knew we are not alone in the meeting.
I think building trust with the most powerful person in the club and having a strong supporter on my back really gave me courage to speak up in the meeting. In that way, I have learned through the experience that building trust is really necessary in order to have a good teamwork. Although the problem of hierarchy still remain, I am more comfortable speaking now than before, as I have good trust in the Bucho-san who is the most powerful man in the club. Therefore, I'd like to say that building trust and good relationship is essential in conducting good team work, and for that I want to thank Bucho-san for making a lot of effort in gaining my trust.
I belong to the ICU Debating Society club, and this year I became one of the leading members of the debating society. There are seven members including me who are responsible for running the club, including the top leader who is the most responsible for any decisions that are made within the core members.
To be honest, I used to hate the meeting that we had every month or so. Every time I joined the meeting, I always felt that I was a worthless being, as I was barely given the chance to speak up. The discussion was often dominated by 2 or 3 members, who were either really aggressive or in the higher position than I was, known as "senpai". The atmosphere of that meeting was so tense and serious that I felt really overwhelmed that I simply could not say a word. Probably the reasons are that these "senpai"- who often spoke in oppressive manner - always tried to take control over the discussion. Also, there was one specific guy who was in the same year as I was, but was so aggressive that any opinion (which opposed to his) that I said was simply stomped over by his strong criticism. For a long time, I could not do anything but simply listen and pretend that I agreed--which was often quite painful and made me really regret for joining the core member team.
To say the conclusion first, the situation did improve a little compare to before. Although it is not yet perfect, I feel more comfortable talking during the meeting, and I think the biggest reason may be the trust that I succeeded in forming between me and the top leader of the club, who we call bucho-san. Bucho-san, though a nice guy he was, simply did not realize that I was having such an uncomfortable time speaking in the meeting. When there were not much connection nor trust between me and the Bucho-san, every time he asked whether I was happy with the decision or not, I always lied to him that I was happy with the way the meeting went despite the fact that I was not. But I was afraid to say so, as I did not trust him very much at the time, and I feared that if I tell him the truth, I may be criticized behind my back.
I don't remember how exactly we succeeded in building trust, but I guess it was his effort into talking me and showing his concern for my feelings which won my trust at last. Although at first I often faked a smile and lied to him about my true feelings, he made an effort to find out my true feelings by talking to me personally, calling on the phone after the meeting, and so forth. His sincere and calm attitude also made me feel secured, as I could see that he was really trying hard to satisfy all the members as much as possible. As the time passed and my trust grew larger and larger, I started to be more honest and told him about how I felt uncomfortable during the meeting--I even told him that I was uncomfortable of one specific guy who always turned down any opinions that were against his.
I also started to feel more comfortable as I succeeded in building good relationship with other members. Although I have not succeeded in building a good relationship with all of them, knowing that some members will support me, I feel more secured and comfortable telling my honest feeling to other members. Also, one of the core members became a really good friend of mine, in which we came to share our true feelings to each other about the meeting. It turned out that I was not the only one who was feeling uncomfortable and stress about the meeting, but she was also feeling the same way, in which she also felt hesitation in speaking in front of the other members. We came to make a promise that every time that specific guy try to stomp over either of our opinions, the other will support the other--that way, we both became confident as we knew we are not alone in the meeting.
I think building trust with the most powerful person in the club and having a strong supporter on my back really gave me courage to speak up in the meeting. In that way, I have learned through the experience that building trust is really necessary in order to have a good teamwork. Although the problem of hierarchy still remain, I am more comfortable speaking now than before, as I have good trust in the Bucho-san who is the most powerful man in the club. Therefore, I'd like to say that building trust and good relationship is essential in conducting good team work, and for that I want to thank Bucho-san for making a lot of effort in gaining my trust.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Week Four Assignment -STAMINA-
I think for most of the time I do take care of myself fairly well. Just like Ken, I eat well, sleep well, and also do the daily exercise which is to jog around the ICU campus for 30 minutes. I usually sleep between 10 o clock to 11 o clock, and wake up between 6 to 7 o clock as I know this is the best sleeping time for me to keep myself at best condition.
For the others, I do try my best to care for my family. For example, during the golden three days, I returned home and cleaned up the whole house by wiping the floor and furniture which were coated with dust. I also washed the dishes after the lunch and dinner and set up breakfast for mother, father and my sister. Since my mother is the one who is doing most of the house works during the school days, I try my best to help my mother as much as possible during the weekends when I can return home. When my friends ask for my support, I try to make a time to listen to their troubles, as I know they will do the same for me when I need their help. I think this is a "give-and-take" relations in which we depend on one another in times of need.
It's sort of embarrassing to share this to the class, but I am most likely to get this "summit fever" when I am in love. As soon as I fall in love, I became so into the person that I cannot really think anything else. This is sometimes really problematic because even though I want to write an essay, since that person keeps popping up in my head, it takes twice as much time to finish up the assignment compare to the time I write the paper with my head clear. Also, there are times when this "invisible hand" pushes me to take a stupid action, which I often regret later on. Looking back, I knew I should have never said that / done that, but at that time, I just could not control myself. I think this is because this "summit fever" is taking away my rationality, my consciousness, to think clearly and choose the right action. I actually don't know how I can solve this, but recently I have found that I can stay calm when I have something else to do. That is, if I don't have anything else to do, I spend forever thinking about it which takes me to nowhere, but if I have something else to do, my thoughts can stay away from love at least during that time. I also try to make the limit to my thoughts--for example, I tell myself that I should not think about anything else until I finish this assignment, and then after I finish the work, I tell myself that now I can drown into the unlimited pool of thoughts and imagination. However, this is also easier said than done, and I am wondering if there is any way I can avoid "summit fever".
For the others, I do try my best to care for my family. For example, during the golden three days, I returned home and cleaned up the whole house by wiping the floor and furniture which were coated with dust. I also washed the dishes after the lunch and dinner and set up breakfast for mother, father and my sister. Since my mother is the one who is doing most of the house works during the school days, I try my best to help my mother as much as possible during the weekends when I can return home. When my friends ask for my support, I try to make a time to listen to their troubles, as I know they will do the same for me when I need their help. I think this is a "give-and-take" relations in which we depend on one another in times of need.
It's sort of embarrassing to share this to the class, but I am most likely to get this "summit fever" when I am in love. As soon as I fall in love, I became so into the person that I cannot really think anything else. This is sometimes really problematic because even though I want to write an essay, since that person keeps popping up in my head, it takes twice as much time to finish up the assignment compare to the time I write the paper with my head clear. Also, there are times when this "invisible hand" pushes me to take a stupid action, which I often regret later on. Looking back, I knew I should have never said that / done that, but at that time, I just could not control myself. I think this is because this "summit fever" is taking away my rationality, my consciousness, to think clearly and choose the right action. I actually don't know how I can solve this, but recently I have found that I can stay calm when I have something else to do. That is, if I don't have anything else to do, I spend forever thinking about it which takes me to nowhere, but if I have something else to do, my thoughts can stay away from love at least during that time. I also try to make the limit to my thoughts--for example, I tell myself that I should not think about anything else until I finish this assignment, and then after I finish the work, I tell myself that now I can drown into the unlimited pool of thoughts and imagination. However, this is also easier said than done, and I am wondering if there is any way I can avoid "summit fever".
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Week Three Assignment
I will do my assignment on Chapter 3:
There are times when I feel really low or feel that there are no way to get out of the situation. When those times come, it's really hard for me to get out of that depression by myself-therefore I often ask for help from my friends and mother. Talking to my mother is especially helpful for me to regain confidence, and after talking to her, I repeat again and again that "time will tell". Sometimes, I just can't find a good way to solve the problem, and in those times, I always tell myself that time will tell me, and that time will make the situation better. I also tell myself that this is no big deal, that I have gone through more hazardous times before in my life, so that I can manage this time too. Another thing I do is to smile in the mirror, even though I may feel like bursting out in tears. Even though I feel really depressed and feel that there is no way I can manage this in my own, at least I make an effort to smile and jump and try to act fun in front of the mirror, which often helps to lighten up my feelings. Moreover, when I am in plight situation, I try to think about how fortunate I am--for example, how fortunate I am that I have a great family, have a nice house and have things to eat, have friends who support me through the difficulties, and the fact the sun still shines and the wind gives me cool breeze, and so forth. By telling myself how fortunate I am that I exist in this world, have so many things, and there are many people who are suffering even more than I am, I feel that what I am worrying about is not that big issue at all. I feel that I am even fortunate to be worrying about that kind of problem, considering how many people struggle to make a living every day. I think about all the things I have, tell myself how thankful I should be instead of mourning over something that is out of my capacity, which enables me to get out from the depression.
The biggest issue I am facing now is the fear that I may fall behind in the Chinese class. To solve this problem, I found that optimism is not enough- to stay optimistic is important, but at the same time I have to make certain efforts to feel that I am doing the best I can, such as doing all the work given in the class plus the extra work which I do during the jog and after/before the class. By putting a lot of effort, I feel good that I am at least trying, and is helping me to stay with the class activities. Although it is hard to catch up with the class considering the disadvantage I have compared to other classmates, I try not to excuse myself and see the reality, that mourning over such disadvantages would not make the situation any better. I tell myself that "I am doing the best I can, this effort must be returned". Studying hard and staying optimistic really give me incentive to work harder, and by working harder I get the optimistic feelings.
Sometimes the situation is so harsh that I just want to escape from the reality. It was so when I was trying to establish the drama club, that I sometimes wished I had never tried to built such club in the first place. In order to get back to reality, again I always relied on my mother and my friends for support, who sympathized with all the works I had to do and who criticized me for throwing away responsibility. I guess I was not a good person who made people comfortable telling me bad news, because every time the members told me bad news, I panicked. But now, after experiencing a lot of difficulties and hard times, I feel that I have grown up a little, and maybe if the similar things happened again, this time I may be able to manage a little better as I learned that panicking would not change anything. I learned that instead of just panicking over what had happened, it is much more efficient to think about what I can do now, instead of what just happened. Although it is much easier said than done, I am trying really hard not to upset over bad news, as I want the people to tell me the truth even if it is a bad news.
There are times when I feel really low or feel that there are no way to get out of the situation. When those times come, it's really hard for me to get out of that depression by myself-therefore I often ask for help from my friends and mother. Talking to my mother is especially helpful for me to regain confidence, and after talking to her, I repeat again and again that "time will tell". Sometimes, I just can't find a good way to solve the problem, and in those times, I always tell myself that time will tell me, and that time will make the situation better. I also tell myself that this is no big deal, that I have gone through more hazardous times before in my life, so that I can manage this time too. Another thing I do is to smile in the mirror, even though I may feel like bursting out in tears. Even though I feel really depressed and feel that there is no way I can manage this in my own, at least I make an effort to smile and jump and try to act fun in front of the mirror, which often helps to lighten up my feelings. Moreover, when I am in plight situation, I try to think about how fortunate I am--for example, how fortunate I am that I have a great family, have a nice house and have things to eat, have friends who support me through the difficulties, and the fact the sun still shines and the wind gives me cool breeze, and so forth. By telling myself how fortunate I am that I exist in this world, have so many things, and there are many people who are suffering even more than I am, I feel that what I am worrying about is not that big issue at all. I feel that I am even fortunate to be worrying about that kind of problem, considering how many people struggle to make a living every day. I think about all the things I have, tell myself how thankful I should be instead of mourning over something that is out of my capacity, which enables me to get out from the depression.
The biggest issue I am facing now is the fear that I may fall behind in the Chinese class. To solve this problem, I found that optimism is not enough- to stay optimistic is important, but at the same time I have to make certain efforts to feel that I am doing the best I can, such as doing all the work given in the class plus the extra work which I do during the jog and after/before the class. By putting a lot of effort, I feel good that I am at least trying, and is helping me to stay with the class activities. Although it is hard to catch up with the class considering the disadvantage I have compared to other classmates, I try not to excuse myself and see the reality, that mourning over such disadvantages would not make the situation any better. I tell myself that "I am doing the best I can, this effort must be returned". Studying hard and staying optimistic really give me incentive to work harder, and by working harder I get the optimistic feelings.
Sometimes the situation is so harsh that I just want to escape from the reality. It was so when I was trying to establish the drama club, that I sometimes wished I had never tried to built such club in the first place. In order to get back to reality, again I always relied on my mother and my friends for support, who sympathized with all the works I had to do and who criticized me for throwing away responsibility. I guess I was not a good person who made people comfortable telling me bad news, because every time the members told me bad news, I panicked. But now, after experiencing a lot of difficulties and hard times, I feel that I have grown up a little, and maybe if the similar things happened again, this time I may be able to manage a little better as I learned that panicking would not change anything. I learned that instead of just panicking over what had happened, it is much more efficient to think about what I can do now, instead of what just happened. Although it is much easier said than done, I am trying really hard not to upset over bad news, as I want the people to tell me the truth even if it is a bad news.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
What's my sentence??
It's really hard for me to describe myself in one sentence, as I have not really set up a definite goal for me.
However, considering this is about my dreams of becoming a special person, I will say:
"She humored many people with her acting and her songs"
Becoming an actress / sing-and-song writer had been my dream for couple of years, and I've always admired the middle aged talents whose appealing point is not prettiness or how gorgeous she is, but rather how charming her personality is and how good she is at acting.
I have always enjoyed making people laugh, to humor my friends with jokes and funny stories, and even if acting did not work well, I would like to find another way to humor people and make them feel better.
My dream is to make people cry and laugh with my acting and lighten up with my songs.
However, considering this is about my dreams of becoming a special person, I will say:
"She humored many people with her acting and her songs"
Becoming an actress / sing-and-song writer had been my dream for couple of years, and I've always admired the middle aged talents whose appealing point is not prettiness or how gorgeous she is, but rather how charming her personality is and how good she is at acting.
I have always enjoyed making people laugh, to humor my friends with jokes and funny stories, and even if acting did not work well, I would like to find another way to humor people and make them feel better.
My dream is to make people cry and laugh with my acting and lighten up with my songs.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Second Entry -Long and Short Term Goals
Long Term Goals
My long term goal is to become a trilingual--that is, to be able to speak Chinese as well as I can speak Japanese and English. So far, I am planning to go China to study one year as an exchange student, and I really want to improve my Chinese before going to China alone and living in a totally different environment. The reason I am specially interested in China is for one, I have already lived in China for a year and half, so at this point I can understand just a little bet of conversation. For two, and more importantly, I was actually born in China, Beijing, and that my name has the meaning of both Japan and China...Waka as in Wa means Japan and Ka represents China. So I feel some attachment toward China, and hope to be able to speak its language as well!
The challenge is that there are not much opportunity for me to hear somebody speaking Chinese or being forced to use Chinese in daily life now--as I live in Japan and Chinese is not really required of me to live through the environment. I need to speak Japanese and English in order to live comfortably in ICU, but definitely not Chinese....therefore, if I do not make a special effort, I will not be able to acquire Chinese language naturally.
Short Term Goals:
Having explained how it is almost impossible to acquire Chinese language naturally in current environment, I had decided to take Advanced Chinese Class, which creates an environment for me to use Chinese to communicate and write. Since I have not used Chinese for almost whole three years, it is really hard for me to keep up with the teacher and the class--but I am pushing myself to engage more in the class, such as sitting in the front of the classroom and asking many questions by throwing away hesitation. I am also always reviewing what I have just learned right after the class ends, so I would not forget the important things that the teacher has told us. I have actually started listening to the Chinese News Broadcast, which I do not understand most of them. Even though I cannot understand well, I always put Chinese News in my iPod and listen to them every morning while jogging around the ICU campus.
So for my short term goal, I am making an effort to participate actively in the Chinese Advanced Class, and also listen to the Chinese News everyday. It would have been very difficult to me to make some time to listen to the news, as I am quite busy with other things to do, but because all I do is to switch the music I have been listening to during the jog, it is not time consuming and is very easy to continue (as jogging is my everyday activity).
-Engaging Distractions-
Also to make my study more interesting and meaningful, I am planning to buy some Chinese music and probably watch Chinese movies during the Golden week so I can get the sense of "Chinese as an alive language" that is not just about studying on paper, but is a language used in people's daily lives.
My long term goal is to become a trilingual--that is, to be able to speak Chinese as well as I can speak Japanese and English. So far, I am planning to go China to study one year as an exchange student, and I really want to improve my Chinese before going to China alone and living in a totally different environment. The reason I am specially interested in China is for one, I have already lived in China for a year and half, so at this point I can understand just a little bet of conversation. For two, and more importantly, I was actually born in China, Beijing, and that my name has the meaning of both Japan and China...Waka as in Wa means Japan and Ka represents China. So I feel some attachment toward China, and hope to be able to speak its language as well!
The challenge is that there are not much opportunity for me to hear somebody speaking Chinese or being forced to use Chinese in daily life now--as I live in Japan and Chinese is not really required of me to live through the environment. I need to speak Japanese and English in order to live comfortably in ICU, but definitely not Chinese....therefore, if I do not make a special effort, I will not be able to acquire Chinese language naturally.
Short Term Goals:
Having explained how it is almost impossible to acquire Chinese language naturally in current environment, I had decided to take Advanced Chinese Class, which creates an environment for me to use Chinese to communicate and write. Since I have not used Chinese for almost whole three years, it is really hard for me to keep up with the teacher and the class--but I am pushing myself to engage more in the class, such as sitting in the front of the classroom and asking many questions by throwing away hesitation. I am also always reviewing what I have just learned right after the class ends, so I would not forget the important things that the teacher has told us. I have actually started listening to the Chinese News Broadcast, which I do not understand most of them. Even though I cannot understand well, I always put Chinese News in my iPod and listen to them every morning while jogging around the ICU campus.
So for my short term goal, I am making an effort to participate actively in the Chinese Advanced Class, and also listen to the Chinese News everyday. It would have been very difficult to me to make some time to listen to the news, as I am quite busy with other things to do, but because all I do is to switch the music I have been listening to during the jog, it is not time consuming and is very easy to continue (as jogging is my everyday activity).
-Engaging Distractions-
Also to make my study more interesting and meaningful, I am planning to buy some Chinese music and probably watch Chinese movies during the Golden week so I can get the sense of "Chinese as an alive language" that is not just about studying on paper, but is a language used in people's daily lives.
Friday, April 15, 2011
First Jounal Entry -Preface-
The most difficult experience I had as a leader was when I was still in high school around age 15 or so. At that time I was really interested in acting, so even before entering into the high school I had already set my mind to join the drama club--but my dream soon sank as soon as I found out that there was no drama club in ICU High School. Although at first I gave up and joined a dance club, soon I found that dancing is not exactly the best of my interest, so as a first year student I had decided to make a drama club myself--which turned out to be an extreme burden.
First of all, it was not easy to gather the members, as basically no one had heard of such thing as 'drama club' before so people were skeptical about joining it. But what made it even more difficult for me was the teachers discouraging attitude toward my effort to build a new club. Instead of giving me support or offering for help, majority of the teachers whom I asked support or help coldly turned down my offer by saying 'I don't know if that club is really necessary' or 'I wonder if your club still exists a year later'. All of these heartless comments really made me down, and at one time I really thought about giving up. We were literally on the brink of edge.
However, to tell the conclusion first, the drama club did succeed--the members dramatically increased after the first performance, and now it is accepted as one of the club activities of ICU High School--and it still exists today (I heard they have performance a month later).
To be honest, I was not good at combining members at all. I tried to be a good leader and so made an attempt to listen to all the member's voices (as I thought that was what a 'good leader' would do), but consequently it made me look ambiguous and made the members think that I lacked in self-confidence. Therefore, when it came to making decisions, I was often criticized by members for not leading the club well. Also, I had this strong sense of responsibility, so strong that I basically tried to handle all the problems by myself and of course that was out of my capacity so I often made mistakes which angered the members. To be fair, I did not have many qualities to be a good leader- such as decisiveness, sense of authority or charisma.
Looking back now, one thing that enabled me to attract members to stay with me was probably my excessive enthusiasm toward building the club. Even though I was severely discouraged by numerous teachers, I tried again and again--I even went to the Principle's Office to ask him to be the club teacher, as no other teachers offered to be one. Unexpectedly, he turned out to be once the manager of the drama club, and even though he could not become the manager for our club, he gave me support by giving me words of encouragement such as 'I really hope to see the drama club again'. Later on, though the change was not dramatic, the teachers started to show some sympathy toward my efforts, and then one teacher actually offered to be the manager of our club. I think my never-giving-up behavior and enthusiasm made the teachers to reconsider and enabled to keep the members to stay with me.
As the time passed, the members started to support me more actively, and I think it was because they feared that if they leave it all to me, the club would eventually collapse. Also as we spent more time together, I had started to realize that there were certain things that they were good at. I found that one of the members of the club was actually better at making decisions and leading people than I was, so I let her handle the decision making process while I did other jobs such as negotiation and campaigning around the school (the jobs which I was good at). With two leaders, the club started to function ever more smoother than before, and as a result our first performance turned out to be a success.
I think another quality I had that enabled us to pursue our goal was the strong feeling of responsibility. I had the strong feeling that I was responsible for the success of the club, and that strong feeling made me able to endure difficulties and drove me to do anything to not let the members down.
Also, I kept myself as honest as possible to all the members who supported me. At first, I wanted to appear to be a good leader so I made a futile attempt to do everything by myself and take all the responsibilities, but soon I realized that I had to be honest and tell everybody that I simply could not do this alone--obviously because I was forgetting a lot of important things. Therefore, I confessed that I could not do this alone, and that I wanted to share the burden with them. I think this honesty led to creating trust among the members, and helped us to create the sense of unity--that 'I' was not the only one who was aiming to achieve the goal, but we all were.
Therefore, considering what led us to succeed, I think it was the enthusiasm, the feeling of responsibility, and the honesty that made us able to develop trust among one another. The club would have not existed if one of the members were lacking, as every single member of the club had strong responsibility and enthusiasm toward establishing our own club.
First of all, it was not easy to gather the members, as basically no one had heard of such thing as 'drama club' before so people were skeptical about joining it. But what made it even more difficult for me was the teachers discouraging attitude toward my effort to build a new club. Instead of giving me support or offering for help, majority of the teachers whom I asked support or help coldly turned down my offer by saying 'I don't know if that club is really necessary' or 'I wonder if your club still exists a year later'. All of these heartless comments really made me down, and at one time I really thought about giving up. We were literally on the brink of edge.
However, to tell the conclusion first, the drama club did succeed--the members dramatically increased after the first performance, and now it is accepted as one of the club activities of ICU High School--and it still exists today (I heard they have performance a month later).
To be honest, I was not good at combining members at all. I tried to be a good leader and so made an attempt to listen to all the member's voices (as I thought that was what a 'good leader' would do), but consequently it made me look ambiguous and made the members think that I lacked in self-confidence. Therefore, when it came to making decisions, I was often criticized by members for not leading the club well. Also, I had this strong sense of responsibility, so strong that I basically tried to handle all the problems by myself and of course that was out of my capacity so I often made mistakes which angered the members. To be fair, I did not have many qualities to be a good leader- such as decisiveness, sense of authority or charisma.
Looking back now, one thing that enabled me to attract members to stay with me was probably my excessive enthusiasm toward building the club. Even though I was severely discouraged by numerous teachers, I tried again and again--I even went to the Principle's Office to ask him to be the club teacher, as no other teachers offered to be one. Unexpectedly, he turned out to be once the manager of the drama club, and even though he could not become the manager for our club, he gave me support by giving me words of encouragement such as 'I really hope to see the drama club again'. Later on, though the change was not dramatic, the teachers started to show some sympathy toward my efforts, and then one teacher actually offered to be the manager of our club. I think my never-giving-up behavior and enthusiasm made the teachers to reconsider and enabled to keep the members to stay with me.
As the time passed, the members started to support me more actively, and I think it was because they feared that if they leave it all to me, the club would eventually collapse. Also as we spent more time together, I had started to realize that there were certain things that they were good at. I found that one of the members of the club was actually better at making decisions and leading people than I was, so I let her handle the decision making process while I did other jobs such as negotiation and campaigning around the school (the jobs which I was good at). With two leaders, the club started to function ever more smoother than before, and as a result our first performance turned out to be a success.
I think another quality I had that enabled us to pursue our goal was the strong feeling of responsibility. I had the strong feeling that I was responsible for the success of the club, and that strong feeling made me able to endure difficulties and drove me to do anything to not let the members down.
Also, I kept myself as honest as possible to all the members who supported me. At first, I wanted to appear to be a good leader so I made a futile attempt to do everything by myself and take all the responsibilities, but soon I realized that I had to be honest and tell everybody that I simply could not do this alone--obviously because I was forgetting a lot of important things. Therefore, I confessed that I could not do this alone, and that I wanted to share the burden with them. I think this honesty led to creating trust among the members, and helped us to create the sense of unity--that 'I' was not the only one who was aiming to achieve the goal, but we all were.
Therefore, considering what led us to succeed, I think it was the enthusiasm, the feeling of responsibility, and the honesty that made us able to develop trust among one another. The club would have not existed if one of the members were lacking, as every single member of the club had strong responsibility and enthusiasm toward establishing our own club.
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